How To Teleport

"yes i did it ive cant beileve it all you need is 5 candles a peice of chalk and water and a flat surface ok wat do do is simple you make a circle with chalk sit in it after you put candle anywere there just so you can see but not to bright for it to work you sit in circle and you think off a place and then you think about being there ok? then you say cuddle lips junk is dum or you say happy place is here now they both worked but cuddle lips junk is dum is best for boys the other 1 works with both but you need to have somone in the room aswell and they need to wistle at a high picth then you say go there now and woosh your there" - lpcisme at http://www.43things.com/things/view/43330/teleport

A Simple Shatter

Dreams like bubbles,
That are so easily broken.
Popped into pieces,
Fractured into fragments.
I can feel myself falling apart.

For He That Bears No Apologies

With your head turned down,
Your mouth spits into the microphone
As you spill your rhymes
To the audience.
Your words flow fast yet
Each individual syllable
Smacks my soul
And touches me so deeply.
I can feel what you’re saying
And your eyes are turned to the floor,
But I swear I can still
See who you are,
I swear your mysterious aura
Can still be disintegrated.
Your lyrics are dark and
Some are whispering their fear and
Others believe it to be a joke,
But I think I understand.
Not only the song,
But I think I understand you.
Just give me one chance to understand you.

Dead End

Our hearts functioned like highways;
We race so fast to
Keep up and stay together,
But I always lose your license plate.
Ignoring the worry-induced pain,
Passing into another lane;
Lost.
Looking at the signs,
Searching for my answers,
Travelling alone.
Wide bridges turn my path dark momentarily,
While those above me
Travel in the light.
Discharge from the dark,
Continue moving forward,
Search for the significance of
Travelling without you.
I can’t quit,
Won’t take the exit,
License plates that don’t fit.
Where are you?
I’m either too late or
You didn’t wait.
Dead end.

Downtown

This is everything, and this is nothing.
It is taking a risk.
It is allowing vulnerability into your life.
It is an alternate way of thinking.
It is the acceptance of the unknown.
It is running away, and staying stationary.
It is believing in freedom.
It is rejecting the social norm.
It is doing something stupid.
It is making someone’s day.
It is everything, except for two letters.
The words are written on the wall.
Painted and printed and permanent.
Perpetually awaiting your interpretation.

Two Hours

Here’s a picture of us
Absorbing the quiet,
Catching the moon,
Forgetting the losses,
Returning from Hawaii,
Not playing video games,
Screaming through the forest,
Counting the hours,
Wishing for the sun,
Transforming,
Wiping off the grass,
Pressing play,
Laughing at whatever,
Trying something new.

From The Clouds

Every night as she falls asleep,
An image of my body appears.
The last time she ever saw me,
The only thing she’ll ever remember me for.
The Priest claimed suicide was a sin.
But little did he know,
Most people in attendance were
Slowly killing themselves each day.
They run around trying to finish errands.
They don’t smile,
They don’t hug.
They just run.
Ignoring the flowers,
Jumping over cracks in the pavement,
Rushing to get to church
So their sins are purged.
Purging sins just to commit sin
The second they step out of the door.
Going to church just to say
They went to church.
I think that God would forgive suicide,
But I don’t think that this town will ever forgive me.
Oh, the irony.

No Offense

"Perhaps you only find life boring because you consider yourself too cool to have any real fun.
The only advice I can give you to rid yourself of this boring rut is to stop taking yourself so seriously, and do something stupid and crazy for once."

Devoted to You

You keep the spotlight dim
As it keeps your face aglow.
Secrets you think that I don’t know.

The girls follow your feet
As you strum your notes.
Words of adoration lifting from their throats.

You talk through your eyes
And sing through your soul.
A cryptic message you keep untold.

I want a closer look,
But I remain in my seat.
Your bridges make me claim defeat.

Sliding through girls
To put a face to the song.
Try not to stare for too long.

But you’ve caught my eye
And I can’t resist;
I’ve allowed feelings for you to exist.

To love a stranger
Is to be insane.
Something I could never explain.

And I swear none of these girls
Can possibly feel what I do.
Give me a chance to show you it’s true.

Your song is over
And I’m lost in my head.
Heartbeat so slow I’m almost dead.

You leave the stage
And erase your silhouette.
Songs my heart will never forget.

I get lost in the crowd,
And scream out loud,
You quickly exit the bar
Bringing no one but your guitar.

Thoughts

"I don't want to be a bitter old woman."
"I won't eat this whole bag of chips."
"If there is some way for me to spill or drop something, it will happen."
"Facebook is making me drag my homework on."
"You're turning me into something I've hated."
"Water conservation."
"Did I really just eat that whole bag of chips?"
"No time for anything."
"I want to write a poem."
"I NEED to write this paper."
"I wish he would message me on Facebook."
"This is a good song."
"I'm excited for tomorrow."
"How should I end this blog?"

The Taint of the Past Overcomes My Hopes of the Future

And you’re just sad
Because you’re all alone
And crying again.
When the taints of the past
Overcome hopes of the future,
Where do you go?
You find yourself screaming
And feel yourself letting go
And you just let it happen,
Because the world has let it happen.
Life is not fair
And the day it becomes fair,
You will no longer be living.
Maybe heaven will come,
And maybe angels will remember your name.
Maybe you will be lost forever,
And maybe you’ll be left behind again.
When do the mistreated find peace?
Close your eyes
To miss the scene,
Erase the lowest
Place you’ve been.
Forget the things
You know they mean,
Another lost soul,
Another sad teen.
You’ll sing a little louder,
And raise your scream,
You’ll get lost and
Remain unseen.

Dream Girl's Fantasy

Your name rests
At the top of my lungs;
I’m failing to fall yet
Loving the plunge.

Spinning to nothing and
Diving to the sky.
Hanging on a hope and
Preparing to fly.

A magical spell that
Overwhelms my soul,
Seeming to drag me from
The past’s dark hole.

I’ll collapse in your arms,
And finally understand
That all I’ve ever needed
Is the touch of your hand.

Let the fantasy materialize,
Let my hopes come true.
Let friends become the past
And lovers become the new.

Brief

A heart too big for words,
A hand across my cheeks,
A kiss called something more,
A moment that should have lasted forever,
A name I will never know.

You're Gone and It Will Never Be The Same

Yeah,
I miss the old you, too...
Perhaps more than you do.
Don't you remember how it used to be?

Puzzle

You and I are like a puzzle,
From the way we hold hands,
To the way we kiss.
Even from the way we fight
To the way our humour matches,
A puzzle is a simple description of us.
I don’t want to ever lose a piece,
Because a broken puzzle would leave
A tiny hole in my heart in which
Nothing else could ever fit.
So stay.
Hold my hand and kiss my lips,
Fight with me and laugh at my punch lines.
Don’t forget how to love me,
And I will remember where the pieces fit.

We Are Past Tense

Heart can’t mend,
Eyes left unopened,
He doesn’t comprehend,
Self explanatory,
End of story.

Crazy

Caging me into
Your idea of good,
Pushing me down
With everything you could.

Memories of happy
Have fled my head,
Confined by white walls
And a hospital bed.

Every word they speak
Is trying to alter my brain,
Pushing to fix me,
Ignoring my pain.

To smile is to lie,
To feel is to cry,
To run is to try,
To jump is to die.

I guess no one heard me
When I said,
“If I couldn’t be crazy,
I’d rather be dead.”

Undeserved

My heart is just another item on the list of things I will never get back from you,
Along with my favourite Gingerbread Man pin.
I really don’t think you ever deserved either of them.

I've Forgotten to Forget

"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you."

The Monster

I feel myself turning into a monster,
Just like in a fairytale.
Except in fairytales,
The monster always dies.
No one tries to help the monster.
I’m afraid of myself,
I’m afraid of tomorrow,
I’m afraid of everything.

Lost

Bedridden,
Finding myself expecting
Nothing of the world but
The deliverance of you.

There is so much I need to
Say, explain, scream,
But I cannot find the words,
Let alone the strength.

I wonder if you’ll ever notice
That I am missing.
I wonder if my absence would
Affect you in any way at all.

Open Mic Night

This rhythm is delicate,
These lyrics are safe,
The perfect song for
Your first viewing of my stage-self.

Screaming and singing
Words to one of the few songs
I’ve not written about you.
Lucky me, there’s one.

The words I pen are so
Blatantly, obviously, always
About you, my love;
Always about your ignorance of me.

As long as I’m being ignored,
The ink will last and last,
The words will pour and pour,
My heart will sing and sing.

So perhaps tonight’s performance
Will open your eyes.
Be warned that I will sing the
Only song I have that is not written

All about you.

Heaven

Do you think that people go to church every Sunday in heaven?
Do you think that there's a routine followed in heaven?
Do you think that there's ever fighting in heaven?
Do you think that everyone always smiles like a Stepford Wife?
Do you think that life after death will be more fun than living?
Do you think that bad things happen on Earth because the dead souls are jealous of the people who get to live and breathe and taste and smile and laugh?
Do you think that there are luxuries in heaven, or jobs to help everyone on Earth?
Do you think that everyone instantly becomes an angel in heaven?
Do you think that God lets everyone into heaven, since he forgives all sins?
Do you think that God let Hitler into heaven?
Do you think that there is a heaven?

Applicable

It's hard to
Practice what you preach
When what you preach
Isn't at all applicable
To your life.

UPDATE IN THE LIFE OF LACEY:

Tragus. Officially. Pierced.

FINALLY!

No, You Are Not Randy.

I woke up with bruises on my legs this morning.

I think I'm going to get my tragus pierced tomorrow.

I'm praying my friend is okay, and that things are not going well with this new boy of hers. Darling, if you're reading this, I'm sure you will know who you are. You do not need a Tal. I will talk to you at work tomorrow.

Three cheers for staying up for absolutely no reason! Here's to wishing I get more than 3 hours of sleep before work tomorrow!

Thanks for reading, it means a whole lot to me. :)

In The Fireplace

I asked if you loved me,
You replied, “No more lies.”
You looked away from
My water-filled eyes.

Endless days spent
Trapped in bed.
Friends arrive to help
Clear my head.

Endless photographs of
Your smiling face.
All our memories are
Burning in the fireplace.

Bittersweet laughter
Ringing through the air.
Pictures split with a tear,
Pretend I don’t care.

Flames flick over us
And my box of you.
I don’t need their words,
I know what I must do.

I let it go,
But I can’t let you go.

This Is For Me

I am far too tired. I’m sick of spending my life doing things for other people, of making my decisions based on how others will want me to.
I have made way too many mistakes for you. We will still talk, but I hope you understand that I am, from now on, taking your advice and making myself happy. I don’t think that you realized that you are one of those people in my life I cannot live without, and one of those people I try to please. The truth of this situation isn’t black, nor white, nor gray. It’s hardly simple, and I don’t know if this will affect how our friendship functions. But I am thinking, and I am thinking that I need to be happy. Not happy for you. Not smiling for you. But smiling because smiling feels right, because smiling is how I truly feel in my stomach.
So I will make this decision all by myself. And I hope you understand. I really want you to see the good in this situation. I wish you could understand that I will be happier. I need you to understand. I still need you, and I always will. Please don’t be upset.

& The Necklace You Gave Me Dangles On My Collar Bone

Gonna buy an old guitar that is
Covered in stickers that are
Apart of someone else’s history.

Gonna steal your beat up car that is
Blue, and drive it down roads that are
All helping me reach my destination.

Gonna walk out to the beach that is
Far away from the identical houses that are
Threatening to swallow my voice.

Gonna sink my toes in sand that is
Still warm from the daytime beach goers that are
Now sleeping peacefully in their homes.

You wanted to know why I go to the beach alone;
This is why.

I let myself collapse,
Collapse into the sand with the guitar
Safely propped in my careful arms.
And I find myself
Finding lyrics to a song I’ve never
Heard, sung, played, written before.

The waves can carry my voice
To unreachable rafters,
Unbelievable octaves,
Across the ocean to strangers
Who maybe feel this ache
He’s forced me to grow accustomed to.

I can feel the pain rushing out of my throat,
I can feel for the first time in days.
The sky is black but I scream these words of
Such vivid colour and emotion at it,
As if it will change anything,
As if I can change anything.

I know my face will fade from your memory.
I sing out my pain.
I know my words won’t mean anything to you.
I sing for the insane.
I know this song won’t ever reach you.
I sing to erase the stains.
I know that I’ve made countless mistakes.
I sing to try to explain.
I know you want me out of your life,
I sing despite your disdain.
I know you’re walking just out of reach,
I sing to try to clear my brain.

I sing to try to clear my brain.

:)

I thought you all would want to see my new closet.

As well, I thought it might be a nice touch to add this little picture, because it fits in with the room theme of this blog, as well as my true feelings:

Dedicated To All Who Read.. That Means YOU!

I hope you recognize that everytime it rains, you walk on water,
I hope you recognize that there's a band that makes music for people exactly like you,
I hope you recognize that you control your own perception of life,
I hope you recognize that flowers will never discriminate against you,
I hope you recognize that change is always a possibility,
I hope you recognize that the conception of you is a miracle,
I hope you recognize that there is pain in the creation of something beautiful,

& Most importantly,
I hope you recognize that you are more to this world than just another person.

Boy:

I hope you're as happy as you're pretending.

Deepest Gratitude

You are one of the few people I know who will listen to me. I know that you will hear me, as well. I know that you will always know the right things to say. I know that you will always just be there to talk. I know that your mind is so powerful and every conversation we have, I'm changed, permanently altered in some way.

I wish I were as strong as you. I wish I could understand how to adapt my life perfectly to be happy. I wish you'd let me attempt to be as helpful (what an understatement) to you as you are to me. I wish you knew how amazing you truly are.

I think you know who you are, so thank-you, from the bottom of my (far too hopeful) heart. Please stay with me.

Stay.

Wit's End

A night
Where I can’t
Write right.
Confusing lines,
Meaningless,
Nothingness,
Stuck.

One

One good picture makes
A photoshoot worth the while.
Some complain,
“One picture?! Is that all?”
But I insist that the
One thousand words
That one picture produces
Makes a day of photographing
Worth while.

Revealed (The Fight)

The mask is paint,
The plastic will shine,
The lie will last,
The words will echo,
The sun is a stranger,
The love will die,
The faces will blend,
The crowd will blur,
The whispers will strengthen,
The screams will be disregarded,
The words will get lost,
The point is pointless,
The breakdown is inevitable,
The veil will be ripped,
The truth will surface,
The identity is false,
The breaths will quicken,
The risk will persist,
The goal is survival,
The clock will tick,
The smoke will curl,
The hope is broken,
The yellow will dilute,
The dream is a myth,
The verdict is final,
The pictures will haunt,
The road will be lonely,
The ink will stain,
The scars will remain,
The past is the past,
. And I cannot get it back.

The writing is on the wall.

Learning to Spell "T-H-E- -E-N-D"

We’re lost on this highway,
In our thoughts,
In our lives.
The headlights do not clear anything up,
My tears only blur my vision and upset him,
The dashboard only illuminates his face in
The most beautiful and confusing way.
The way his anger flows from his mouth
Is eloquently repulsive in a way that
Knows just how to break my heart.
The rearview mirror shows no signs of
The past becoming ours again.
The time is 11:12,
Proving that no more wishes will be granted,
And that time is no longer on our side.
Our time is up.
Turn off the radio,
Turn off the car,
Turn off the tears for a few more moments.
This is what it is like to finally face
The most painful
Good bye
Of my entire life.

Please do not tell me
This is good bye.

Stuck

Stuck in the present,
Stuck all alone.
Pictures of people
I’ve now outgrown.

Stuck with the question
“What’ve I done wrong?”
Stuck with the realization
I will never belong.

Stuck in repetition
Of hurtful events.
Fighting to try to
Make them make sense.

But my words will never
Mean anything to you.
Your ignorance makes my
Existence entirely see through.

Stuck at home while
You’re out being young,
Stuck with harsh, unspoken
Words on my tongue.

Stuck with the mistakes,
Working on the ‘why’s?’,
Telling myself lies,
Trying to rationalize.

Stuck in the dark,
Where you’ve left me last.
Exhausting myself,
Sanity lost fast.

You leave me alone,
Tell yourself I’ll be fine.
Stuck in this reality
I’m forced to call mine.

Changed

Do you ever have a feeling in your stomach where you feel like you’ve just realized something about yourself? Except you don’t know quite exactly what it is, but something is definitely there, something should definitely be noticed. In the pit of your stomach, you feel a nervous excitement and you knit your eyebrows in a sort of way that suggests a vague acknowledgement of something different within your soul and body and mind. It’s so strange. And it just happened to me. Perhaps this feeling is a result of the music I’m listening to, or the conversations I’m holding. Either way, it was real. And now I’m stuck inside my head, searching for a change, for a shift or tweak in my thoughts. I can’t find anything, but my stomach is stuck in this weird state and the confusion won’t leave and the thoughts aren’t flowing while my fingers are typing about absolutely nothing.

How unusual this night has turned out to be.

Alphabetizing Thoughts to Make Sense of Them

Always in my brain
Breaking our barriers
Calls until three o’clock
Dead from its beginning

Enough is enough
Fighting gets aggravating
Growing up and
Hating our old selves

I want to go back
Judging decisions as mistakes
Kisses that were
Laced with venom

My sightless eyes
Never weighed the possibilites
Open to anything
Paying the price presently

Questioning in sequester
Recollecting those eyes
Stationary in my bed
Trying to make sense of the verdict

Understanding your hatred
Visiting your point of view
Wishing for happy thoughts
X-raying your body language

You make me feel so much but I
Zipper my lips shut.

*Format inspired by David Levithan's "The Realm of Possibility"

& Besides, The Reputation's All A Lie

"My words are mistakes & my thoughts are useless"

Lesson

It seems the happiest people
Are the one with the most twisted stories.
His smile taught me
More than the books,
More than the talk shows,
More than the teachers.
His smile taught me so much about
Real bravery, troubles, love,
About life.
Today,
You’re beautiful,
As usual.
One more thing for me to be able to trust
In life’s search for truth.
If only the world could feel
The love I have,
The feeling I crave,
When I see your exposed teeth.

Months That Last Years

We’re both still trying to
Remember how to breathe without each other.
He cannot comprehend how
Odd the atmosphere feels without him.
Our old favourite places
Now seem like strangers.
The tree that we carved our names into
Is like a picture that
Used to bring to smiles,
But is now just another prisoner to the blurry past.
The stump appears to bear
Two strange names
Of two people I don’t know
Who once loved each other.
The only evidence of our togetherness
Ever existing
Is our names
Trapped inside a heart.
I continue walking by,
Breathing in the odd atmosphere,
Reaching for a hand that isn’t there,
Feelings lips that are no longer mine to kiss,
Catching my breath when I finally see
How forever never seems to really be
Just that.

Hold Me

I am telling you right now that
I will make mistakes.
I will make a fool of myself,
I will be embarrassing,
I will do what I want.
Because if you’re never vulnerable
What is there left to be?
Spiritual evolution would be highly improbable
If I never
Tripped,
Laughed too loud,
Cried in public,
Got my heart pummeled,
Stood out in a crowd of clones,
Or anyone of the other things
That’ve caused you to
Hold me close with the intention of
Stopping me.
So cover your eyes
But don’t cover my mouth.
You can live your life in your state of boringness
And hatred for all things happy.
But not me.
You can’t hold me back anymore.

The Cheater

It appears that I have gravely over estimated you.
With such low standards,
I thought that was an impossibility.
But old habits die hard.
Lieing is simpler to you,
And makes things harder for me.

Your eyes glaze over in your drunken state
As my eyes become glassy with tears,
Because it's okay to kiss another girl
If you've kissed the tip of a beer bottle
(Or two)
First.

My feet won't move
And I can't take my eyes away from yours.
How did I ever find safety in that blue?

How will I ever escape that blue?

Bigger

I need to realize that the
Universe is bigger than me.

My friends have their own lives,
My family has things to do,
Strangers have places to be
Without time to smile or say thank-you.

The world will not
Stop spinning
To watch tears fall down my face.

The sun and the moon will not
Interchange
When I need a day to end,

For,
Today may be the best day of
Someone else's life.

So I'll look in the mirror,
Blurred with tears and a bad self image,
And tell myself that the Universe

Doesn't
Revolve
Around me.

Today, Happiness

appears to merely be a selfish state of bliss where one is ignorant to every problem in the world and solely focused on a single good detail of the day.

But that's just today.

Margin

A fake loyalty,
A fake smile,
A fake apology,
A fake hug,
A fake look in her coloured-contact eyes,
A fake tear tainted with black,

A real hair flip to see who's watching,
Really walking away,
Really standing with her new friends,
Really leaving you all alone again.

Hopeless Hopeful in the Hall

All she does is walk around
With her little chin held high,
Although she’ll never admit it,
Her life is all a lie.

She’s a full time sell out,
And it’s sad because she knows,
She’s told herself all that matters is
You, appearance, and clothes.

Dresses her double zero hips
In clothes with a reputation,
Trying to get one for herself,
Trying to master the art of flirtation.

Spends her weekends at big parties
Because that’s where you get seen.
Little does she know, she’s headed for
A lifetime’s peak at a small sixteen.

The pot, the pills, the everything’s:
“Please, just one more drink!”
Too busy sending the boys a wink,
Can’t comprehend how fast she’ll sink.

She puts on her perfect act,
But her smile isn’t all that’s fake,
When all she craves is your approval,
She’ll do whatever it takes.

A New Side

Prepare for a brand new tomorrow,
Prepare for a brand new me.

This Is Me (A Rant)

You’re truly poison.
I’ve thought about it,
And I’ve come to a final conclusion,
And you’re truly poison.

You creep into my day.
(As if I even want you there.)
You make nests in the corners of my mind,
And pretty soon, I want you there.

I want this to stop.
I want you to go away.
But I can’t stop and walk away.
Be a gentleman, please?

It makes me mad how mad you make me,
How your words mean more than everyone else’s.
You really make me mad.
You really mean a lot to me.

This is what I sound like when I scream.
This is what I feel like when I’m upset.
This is me when you’re in my brain.
This is me when no one’s looking.

How are you?
When I look at you,
Who am I seeing?

Am I seeing what you look like
When I’m on your mind?
Am I seeing what you look like
When you hold back your words?

Am I seeing what you look like
When you fake a smile?
Have I ever seen what you look like
When you’re being honest?

I cannot handle personal happiness.
And it leaves me baffled.
I often find myself wondering and confused.
I often find you embedded in these thoughts.

Do you feel guilty
That you’re tainting my life?
Or is the affect you have on me
Making you happy?

I wish you’d tell me why you’re doing this to me.
I wish I wouldn’t let you do this to me.
Why do you have such power over me?
Tell me why.

What Girls Do When The Wind Steals Their Identity

Lonely and afraid,
Walking through the empty streets
Looking for herself.

Problems (Used To Know)

Blaming my problems on everyone else,
Telling everyone else I’m
Blaming my problems on my lack of sleep.

Will they ever
Wake up to see
I’m sleeping fine?

Can’t turn your head
For more than five seconds
To ask what’s wrong
Before his lips
Become too irresistible?

You sicken me.
You might want to turn your head
Again
Before I throw up all over you.

He calls you baby
And buys you dinner
And it makes you smile
Because someone’s finally
Paying attention.

The more attention you get,
The less attention you give.
You’re oblivious to the world around you.
You’re oblivious to everyone’s sorrow.
You’re oblivious to your own.

You’ve changed.
I miss the girl who now hides behind
American Eagle and alcohol.
I miss the girl from
My picture albums on the beach.
I miss the girl
I used to know.

*

Two

Names, names, names.
All of the names I know,
But his is all I think about,
All that breezes from my lips.

What's in a name?
Does it complete your identity
Or define it?

To complete it would that it
Is simply letters that lace your limbs and soul together.
To define it would mean that it
Is the core of your whole being-
What makes your first impression
Through metaphors and synonyms prior to
Any real impression at all.

He has the name that
Completes my identity.

I wish he knew mine.

What Makes Me Beautiful

My hair is an illusion,

My eyes are the sun and the moon,

My words are gusts of wind,

My tears are the rain,

My smiles are the flowers,

My past is the winding roads,

My state of vulnerability lies
In the skyscrapers,

My laughter is your favourite song,

My mouth is the ocean,

My fingers are the trees,

My legs are the animals,

My future is the fields,
The big, blank fields,

My memories are the art galleries,

My secrets are the newspapers,

My name is the sunset,

My heart is yours.

Walrus Love

Laughter is universal.
If one can laugh,
One can communicate in
Every language possible.

Laughter is music.
If one can laugh,
One can sing and string together
Every note possible.

Laughter is beauty.
If one can laugh,
One can be and appreciate
Every beauty possible.

See What You've Settled For

So he wrote me a song,
And I loved it!

But when he said I was pretty,
He must've been writing to a
Fashion magazine's front cover star.

And when he said he liked my smile,
He must've been trying to serenade
The new Miss America.

Even when he said that he loved me,
I know for a fact
He sung those lines
His absolute loudest
All For Her.

Senses

How could a girl
Who could see the look in his eyes
Ever be so stupidly blind?

How could a girl
Who’s listened to all her friend’s advice
Be so ignorant to every single word of his?

How could a girl
Who’s felt slap-stings on her cheeks
Not feel the pain of her not-so-secret admirer?

How could a girl
Who’s been forced to swallow her blood,
Always swallow her words around him?

How could a girl
Whose favourite scent is love
Disregard that very aroma that was constantly around him?

How could a girl
Who knows the right thing to do,

Always.

Walk.

Away.

To Her:

Sad, lonely, by myself,
You’ve forced me to be this way,
Spreading rumours, telling lies,
Thinking I’d somehow be okay.

I hope, at least, you’re okay,
I hope you don’t feel bad,
For no, my tears are not your fault,
And no, why would I be mad?!

My life is only ruined,
And the world only hates me,
This will only haunt me forever,
I know I’ll never be free.

Oh, my dear, the nerve you have,
To yell back in my face,
The way you tried to state your case,
Was nothing short of disgrace.

Then karma got you back,
And you couldn’t deal with that,
You couldn’t be the only one,
You stupid fucking brat.

You brought me down with you,
And now my life is done,
No one will believe my side,
Your lies can’t be undone.

Do you know what’s thought of me?
Have you heard what they’ve said?
Innocent was there before.
But now, slut is there instead.

Your blown up stories are wrong,
But I hope your lies suffice,
It may’ve worked out for you,
But for me, it’s cost a price.

So I’ll just cry all alone,
But act all perfect and bright.
Trying to prove to everyone
The only truth that’s right.

[Telling an ignorant truth is telling a lie]

Stages

The girls in my world are like raindrops. They drop from the sky in one, gray uniform. There are millions of them, millions of carbon copies of each other. They start high in the sky, where other people wish they could jump up to. But they fall. They drop from the sky, lower and lower, until they crash to the ground. They divide themselves into bland groups of muddy puddles. They may feel more powerful, banding together to create one, giant body. But they’re still below the people who were once below them, jumping their hardest to be amongst them. They seem to think they’re still high in the sky, as they lay, flat and gray, in the ordinary sidewalks.

I like to think of myself as a rainbow. Once left behind by the rest, I was nothing but a small, lonely water particle. But I soon find some others like myself; others that were left behind. We group together in understanding and love. The sun gives us its blessing as it envelopes us in a bright, warm hug. All on earth look up to see us. They admire our beauty as we let out true colours shine through. We’re high in the sky, and inviting everyone to come. To come and share in the sun’s blessing. Soaring with the clouds, we feel alive up here. We can be ourselves up here.

In my world, you can crash to the ground or soar with the clouds.
In my world, it’s considered weird to choose to soar.

Let me hear you call me weird.

Happy Family Day!

It’s sad that today, most children need a designated holiday to be able to get to play a board game with their parents.

Our Love is Mimicked on Rock Band by Children

I’m instantly overwhelmed by your presence.
Like I’m being
Bombarded with a drum solo
A bass, a guitar,
Your scratchy screamy voice.

But I like your acoustics.
When the lights are more dim,
Your eyes are more bright;
When the world around us slows down
To match your melodies;
When your smile is enough
To make me stay transfixed for hours;
That’s what I like.
Because you’re what I like.

I wish I was as much like me
As you are as much like you.

Sweat

I’m working out
And I’m sweating.
I’m sweating off

Every bad feeling I have about myself,
Every bad thing you say about me,
Every punch I’ve taken on myself,
Every time I’ve felt inferior to you,
Every laugh,
Every stare,
Every thing.

And when I shower,
All of these every’s get washed down the drain
To never be seen or heard of or felt
Again.

How long will I have to
Sweat
Before I don’t feel the need to sweat
Anymore?

As the Time Races,

I want to go back to the meadow
We found back in June.
We spent the day there
But left all too soon.

You held me close
As we lay on the grass.
We laughed, we danced
& let the time pass.

All of the green
Brought out your eyes’ blue,
And in that moment I knew;
You said you loved me, too.

Friends call us adorable,
But nothing can compare,
To that fateful day in June,
That I remember where

We spent the day in a meadow -
Just us as a pair.
I’d do anything in the world
To go back there.

You Only Live Once...

1. Go on a road trip.
2. Catch a fish.
3. Write a song.
4. Read a Keats poetry book.
5. Overcome a fear.
6. Win something from the radio.
7. Have a picnic.
8. Go to a concert.
9. Be onstage in front of thousands of people.
10. Meet a celebrity.
11. Make a dream come true for someone.
12. Go to Paris.
13. See a musical in New York.
14. Ride a taxi.
15. Take a pregnancy test.
16. Cook a fancy meal.
17. Plant a tree.
18. Learn to play a song on the guitar or piano.
19. Invent something.
20. Bake a cake.
21. Hug a pug.
22. Drive a standard truck.
23. Go skiing or snowboarding.
24. Sing in front of lots of people.
25. Get a tattoo.
26. Complain.
27. Buy something expensive I don’t need.
28. Kiss in the rain.
29. Surprise someone.
30. Go commando.
31. Have flowers sent to me.
32. Take a photography course.
33. Sing a song with lots of people at a bonfire.
34. Go by train.
35. Inspire someone.
36. Send a letter by mail.
37. Get my make-up done professionally.
38. Run through a public fountain.
39. Throw a themed party.
40. Be professionally photographed.
41. Make a horse look like a unicorn.
42. Touch the Eiffel Tower tastefully.
43. Get a tacky manicure.
44. Go on a submarine.
45. Learn a random fact.
46. Sing a bit of that John Travolta song from Grease at a drive-in.
47. Pet an emu, alpaca, or lama.
48. Take a picture with a stranger.
49. Have a conversation with someone in a different language.
50. Move on.
51. Make my own candles.
52. Stand out and love it.
53. Tell someone the brutal truth to their face.
54. Take pictures on the beach.
55. Be a vegetarian for a month.
56. Truly be happy for someone else without any jealousy.
57. Make jewellery and wear it.
58. Visit Times Square at night.
59. Dance in the streets during daytime.
60. Purposefully make a stranger feel uncomfortable.
61. Hold a meeting.
62. Find a career I’m happy with.
63. Make someone’s day.
64. Do karaoke in front of lots of people.
65. Try surfing.
66. Stay up all night with someone.
67. Walk across the CN Tower’s glass floor.
68. Get a T-Shirt made.
69. Get married.
70. Have children.
71. Feel completely at ease.
72. Get a real diamond or pearl.
73. Prove myself.
74. Get waxed.
75. Stay in bed all day.
76. Take a beautiful picture and frame it.
77. Meet a mentor.
78. Figure out the truth on my own.
79. Have the upper hand.
80. Take a pole-dancing class.
81. Win money in a casino.
82. Go camping for at least one night.
83. Attend a fashion show.
84. Hug the moon.
85. Fix it.
86. Be okay with vulnerability.
87. Dance on a table.
88. Do it by myself.
89. Learn some sign language.
90. Get hypnotized.
91. Go canoeing.
92. Change someone’s mind.
93. Own something rare or one of a kind.
94. Go on a nature hike.
95. Attend a reunion.
96. Be remembered.
97. Wear red lipstick in public inappropriately.
98. Jump in a pile of leaves.
99. Have a fight with a snowman.
100. Finish this list.

Would You Rather...?

I’d rather be sad than numb.
I’d rather have thoughts flowing through my brain than nothing at all.
I’d rather be crying once I’ve run out of tears and am staring off into space.
I’d rather my body shake than lay still like a corpse.
I’d rather scream for help than refuse to talk to anyone.
I’d rather sleep on a wet pillow than not sleep at all.
I’d rather display an understood emotion than be asked to explain how I feel.
I’d rather feel an emotion I understand than to sit lost and confused.
I’d rather be depressed than unfeeling.

The Party

My body is shaking
And my cheeks are wet
And you’re mustering up the nerve
To call me a liar.

You can’t assume
My knowledge of an event
And blame me for getting upset
When you were wrong,
All along.

You let me down,
Then put me down –
Why this routine?

Why me?

To omit the truth
Is still a lie.
So why are you calling me the
Liar?

The Bathrobes

Some people understand your crazy antics,
While others just don’t.