This Is Me (A Rant)

You’re truly poison.
I’ve thought about it,
And I’ve come to a final conclusion,
And you’re truly poison.

You creep into my day.
(As if I even want you there.)
You make nests in the corners of my mind,
And pretty soon, I want you there.

I want this to stop.
I want you to go away.
But I can’t stop and walk away.
Be a gentleman, please?

It makes me mad how mad you make me,
How your words mean more than everyone else’s.
You really make me mad.
You really mean a lot to me.

This is what I sound like when I scream.
This is what I feel like when I’m upset.
This is me when you’re in my brain.
This is me when no one’s looking.

How are you?
When I look at you,
Who am I seeing?

Am I seeing what you look like
When I’m on your mind?
Am I seeing what you look like
When you hold back your words?

Am I seeing what you look like
When you fake a smile?
Have I ever seen what you look like
When you’re being honest?

I cannot handle personal happiness.
And it leaves me baffled.
I often find myself wondering and confused.
I often find you embedded in these thoughts.

Do you feel guilty
That you’re tainting my life?
Or is the affect you have on me
Making you happy?

I wish you’d tell me why you’re doing this to me.
I wish I wouldn’t let you do this to me.
Why do you have such power over me?
Tell me why.