& The Necklace You Gave Me Dangles On My Collar Bone

Gonna buy an old guitar that is
Covered in stickers that are
Apart of someone else’s history.

Gonna steal your beat up car that is
Blue, and drive it down roads that are
All helping me reach my destination.

Gonna walk out to the beach that is
Far away from the identical houses that are
Threatening to swallow my voice.

Gonna sink my toes in sand that is
Still warm from the daytime beach goers that are
Now sleeping peacefully in their homes.

You wanted to know why I go to the beach alone;
This is why.

I let myself collapse,
Collapse into the sand with the guitar
Safely propped in my careful arms.
And I find myself
Finding lyrics to a song I’ve never
Heard, sung, played, written before.

The waves can carry my voice
To unreachable rafters,
Unbelievable octaves,
Across the ocean to strangers
Who maybe feel this ache
He’s forced me to grow accustomed to.

I can feel the pain rushing out of my throat,
I can feel for the first time in days.
The sky is black but I scream these words of
Such vivid colour and emotion at it,
As if it will change anything,
As if I can change anything.

I know my face will fade from your memory.
I sing out my pain.
I know my words won’t mean anything to you.
I sing for the insane.
I know this song won’t ever reach you.
I sing to erase the stains.
I know that I’ve made countless mistakes.
I sing to try to explain.
I know you want me out of your life,
I sing despite your disdain.
I know you’re walking just out of reach,
I sing to try to clear my brain.

I sing to try to clear my brain.