Game

When I call my friend a bitch
Behind her back,
What does that make me?

Headache.

I don’t want to protect you anymore.
I want to be able to look weak.
I crave to be able to cry when I want.
I wish I could care about my feelings, instead of yours.
I defend you from the world and
I get absolutely nothing in return.

I don’t want to protect you anymore –
I want to protect myself, now.

Eleven O'Clock

The sun rises over our favourite hill;
The local hotel for the night,
Touching his face gives a temporary thrill,
I’m nervous for my departure and flight.

He appear almost godly in this red,
Magically, even better in his sleep,
Take a photograph in my head;
It’s exclusively mine to keep.

Green stretches out for miles in this town,
We’re king and queen of the population,
Everyday I proudly sport a crown
While we take our time with procrastination.

This softly curling hill feels more secure
Than where we'll be separating to soon,
Synthetic strangers in fake cities we’ll endure –
I hate that our last kiss is this afternoon.

The sun’s golden hair swims over the trees,
Slipping into his softly closed eyes,
They flutter open with gentle ease,
My heart still races, no real surprise.

After all these years, we’re still the same,
But could a thousand miles change this?
If lies and tears are the name of the game,
One more couple could cease to exist.

Back in the present as he holds my hand,
I hide my tears on my left arm,
It’s not that I think he won’t understand,
It’s that I can’t cause him any more harm.

This relationship isn’t gold and glitter,
I’m always the source of the fights,
His ‘better half’ who was really bitter,
Causer of guilty, restless nights.

He fights and lies and defends my side,
Trying to make me feel better,
When he says he’s okay, I know he’s lied,
So I abandoned him with a letter.

We were at the airport as he looked in my eyes,
I decided to just let my tears flow.
All good things happen only at sunrise,
But it was eleven o’clock, and I had to go.

I slipped the letter into his pocket;
A page of forced words; half fake,
I floated away as fast as a rocket,
Unsure if I had made a mistake.

I think I know what’s best for him,
He honestly just can’t see.
This last line turns my sunrise dim,
But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

The Sleepover

Future inside jokes that make us laugh to the core,
Unwanted clothes lying dead on the floor.
Music blaring ‘till the windows break,
Laughter even louder to keep us awake.
Remnants of hairspray when I suck in the air,
Teaspoons of basil – it’s like death to choose dare!
Her new, coloured eyeliner that makes us look clever,
The camera’s small button to freeze our smiles forever.
Concocted perfumes joining hands all around,
Adrenaline making obvious appearances without a sound.

The emotions of a beauty queen’s bliss.

Child's Play

Those long falling stars above head,
They’ll forever come and go,
Sinking like tears through the sky,
Dancing lightly to and fro.

I close my eyes at eleven twelve
Each and every single night,
And your name is the hopeful wish
I always seem to recite.

There must’ve been a million eyelashes
That’ve fallen from these eyes,
I hopelessly whisper the sound of your name,
Wish-granting hairs are nothing but lies.

Even the best fairy tales;
They’ll never ever come true.
And that’s unfortunate ‘cause for me
My fairy tale is you.

Realization Evolution.

How could a girl
Who could see the look in his eyes
Ever be so visibly blind?

How could a girl
Who’s listened to all her friend’s advice
Be so ignorant to every single word of his?

How could a girl
Who’s felt slap-stings on her cheeks
Not feel the pain of her not-so-secret admirer?

How could a girl
Who’s been forced to swallow her blood,
Always swallow her words around him?

How could a girl
Whose favourite scent is love
Disregard that aroma in her body when she was with him?

How could a girl
Who knows the right thing to do,
Always.
Walk.
Away.

Nameless Face

The sun disappeared from her sky,
The sparkle now missing from her eyes.

They let her down and she sits down,
Wants to escape from this small town.

The world’s latest basket case,
She wonders how fast she’ll be erased.

Alone and weird, weird and alone,
The nameless face been left unknown.

Girl in the mirror a peculiar stranger;
The one who puts her life in danger.

Everything an out-of-body event,
No good memories of a life well spent.

Is she truly a waste of perfect space?
How long will she have to hide her face?

Maybe...

Maybe one day,
He’ll notice me once more.
Maybe one day
My heart won’t feel so sore.

Maybe one day
I’ll get another chance.
Maybe one day
He’ll break this broken trance.

Maybe one day
He’ll say he misses me.
Maybe one day
With me, he’ll crave to be.

Maybe one day
He’ll lift me from my fall.
Maybe one day
I’ll wake up from this dream of

‘One day’s and ‘maybes’
And see he was never there

At all.

Quit Lying to Yourself, Honey

Let’s lie to each other,
I’m not sure where I’m going with this,
But here we are,
Fourth line, still insisting.

If we know it’s a lie,
We can’t get hurt right?

If we know it’s a lie,
Would we even be called liars?

If we know it’s a lie,
Could we ever actually fight?

If we know it’s a lie,
Could we ever actually get disappointed?

Who was it that said,
“It’s better to have loved and lost
Than to have never have loved at all?”

Screw that guy,
I’d rather lie.

Question?

A shy girl with a crooked smile;
Your perfect girl next door.
Brown hair softly sweeping across her face,
Just above her glassy bark-brown eyes.
Soft red lips curled into a soft teddy bear smile that causes
Shrugging shoulders and faces to flicker into smirks.
Somehow this small girl who shows herself so simply can
Manage to hang your world on her words.
Her presence is unexpected.
They called her passive, but you know that’s only because they passed her by.
For in this moment, in this conversation,
You have never been so enveloped in your life.
You don’t even need to talk constantly.
Your favourite part happens to be the quiet ones,
For those are the moments in which you can just look at her.
She barely knows your name,
But she screams she understands you through
Understated and secret languages only you two comprehend.
You don’t mean to stare but you don’t dare to blink.
You’ll drink in every last moment of her presence.

*

Sillyness?

So,
Is there such a thing as blank?
For,
Whenever I see a fresh space,
I see nothing but
Possibilities.

Mistakes...?

Her tears were the only things that sobered her and brought her out of her dream world. They blurred her vision but managed to show a clearer sense of reality than she’s even experienced. Coughs and chokes that shiver up her chest and throat make her hunch her shoulders into a pathetic stance. She shakes her head slowly but the tears flow swiftly down her pale face as if a race were taking place. She closes her eyes in hopes of stalling the water that threatened to fall. Moisture seeps from every corner, crack, and duct it manages to find. She finds her frustrated hands floating to her eyes, rubbing and scraping to diminish every last sign of those annoying waterfalls. She opens her eyes to find her once=clean fingers stained with two coats-worth of mascara and a life supply of eyeliner. She jumps out of the chair and makes the embarrassing trip to the bathroom as quick as possible. The sink fills with black as the evidence runs from her hands. She looks in the mirror, sweeps under her eyes once more, and whispers:
I
Hate
You.

Over.

All that was left was me and you,
And we were in the photo booth.

First shot was our awkward smiles,
We laughed when we went blind.

I looked at you and you did the same,
I still remember that feeling.

I still remember when you kissed me,
It was shot number two.

You kept shots three and four,
I still blush at the thought.

I wonder if you still have yours,
Or if I’m the only one.

Because now,
All that’s left of me and you
Are pictures from the photo booth.

This is Me vs. Could that Be?

I'll be your lamppost girl
On the darkest street in
This whole fucking city.
With a flickering halo of
Light that contradicts what
This lamppost girl is.
Dark and mysterious and seductive and
Everything you'd envision
This hidden girl to be.
Wearing her trademark black
Trench coat and skinniest,
Slinkiest black high heels.
She's looking for hidden
Stars and in between the
Flicks of musky city
Lamppost light, you can see
Her once perfected black
Eye makeup falling down
Her once perfect complexion.
I know it's her
That you truly love.
Oh, how much I'd like to be
The lamppost girl you see in me.

Help.

I’m preparing myself to lie to you.
I lay awake longer than usual,
Thinking and hurting and crying,
Heavy guilt sinking me into my mattress,
As well as the weight of these tears.

I finally drift to sleep,
And I dream a terrible dream.
Fighting my way through
An ocean of my own tears,
Floating on my tattered bed.

I wake up with my wet face
And pillow and mattress, too.
Could the maybe truth
Hurt you even more
Than the pain I’ll feel knowing I lied?

I’ve hurt you too much thus far,
I can’t live with myself either way.
I know the lie would keep you happy,
And the maybe truth would
Force me to directly hurt you myself.

Who’s to blame for this problem,
What’s the greater evil,
Where’s the greater pain,
When will we be on better terms,
How will I ever get over this?

Help.

Frank -

Each day will go by,
I try not to cry,
For everything about you was a lie.

In the blink of an eye,
You made me say good bye,
Could you believe that in reply,
You had the nerve to ask my why?

Pissed off, you tried to deny,
Tried to claim you were the good guy,
That I’m the one who deserved to die,
Then with a sigh,
You left me dry.

I wish my tongue wasn’t in such a tie,
I wish you’d seen my battle cry,
A pathetic reunion I’d tried to imply,
I thought it might work between you and I.

So from now on, I won’t even try,
Every part of you is overly sly,
There’s hidden messages you use to get by

And I’m done trying to figure them out.

Ten

I am all alone.
Not just in this blue room,
But also in this sad, sad world.
Pages are all that will dry my fallen tears, for shoulders are cold and turn away.
I am misunderstood,
They misunderstand.
They made 10 my least favourite
Number,
Day,
Month.
They’ve made me question everything I’ve come to know, and how can I find any Answers when there’s no one to ask, or even talk to?
Everyone believes in the lies, the rumours.

Everyone looks at me in disgust.

You broke a beer bottle and carved the X into my back.
It stung at first,
But the sting stopped interrupting my day and a
Band-aid hid me from ‘Are You Okay?’ ‘s.
But the more I turn away from people,
The more they see the band aid. And the more they see the band aid…
The more they rip it off
To discover what's hiding.
I thought I was okay, I thought I was done with it.
But if I face the truth, it’d tell me that with
Each rip comes more pain every time.
And I’m sick of
Hurting,
And I’m sick of
Hurting other people.
My smile is gone because I don’t want to taste the tears.
I am all alone in this dark blue sad stupid fucking world.

Best Friends

Forever.

Morgan Coffey

Relaxed, serene,
Here I am free.
Surprisingly calm,
For there's nothing to see.

Let all my limbs loose,
As I float through space,
All senses are lost
Hair fanned around my face.

Visions of my old life
In my mind are blurred,
Everything I thought was true
Now seems so absurd.

I never want to leave,
But I know I must go now,
Don't forget this place of peace,
Forever hold that vow.

I surface.

Up & Down

So, you think you
Understand what I'm talking about,
But you really have no idea.
Like, you think
I'm saying one thing,
Meanwhile,
It's something completely different.
Now if you feel confused,
And you don't understand,
Look a little closer,
Maybe read between the lines.
Every word I ever write
Somehow reveals
Small pieces of me,
And I know that I
Get Confusing and complicated
Everyday at certain
Times, but
I just wish someone
Might read between my lines.
Except that seems too much to ask for,

And I'm Sorry.

4 Days Now

When you leave,
You take my happiness
And my smile with you.
It puts me in the most
Depressing of moods.
I hope and pray you'll
Come back soon.
But if you really do
Love me,
I suppose you should.
I miss your
Eyes.
I wish I could
See your beautiful face.
This is torture,
I don't want summer
To come anytime soon.
For,
When you leave,
You take my happiness
And my smile, with you.

The First One

Dear Boy,
Here is my confession to you - I'm not sure if you'll still care. But I'm going to tell you anyways, because I can't bare this secret any longer. I've loved you all along, how could you not see?!

I couldn't say sorry enough times. I'm sorry for being untrustworthy and unreliable. I'm sorry that he's always there. I'm sorry for all of the stupid things he says. I'm sorry for just walking by. I'm sorry for deceiving you. I'm sorry that I'm too late.

You don't love me anymore, and that drives me absolutely crazy. I guess I thought he might change; my fingers are still crossed. Sometimes, I wish that you could read my mind. There's so many thing I'm too afraid to say.

But I will say this. I hope one day you'll see how much you mean to me. I hope one day you'll recognize the kindness in your eyes. I hope one day you'll look into mine and find he truth behind them. I hope one day you'll understand why I'm trying so hard to lie to you, and to myself.

Nobody could ever mean as much to me as you do right now. I don' know what I'm more afraid of - falling for you undeniably right now, or losing my chance forever. If I let myself fall for you, it could be more serious than any relationship with anyone else, ever. I don't like being vulnerable, and love is a vulnerable feeling to deal with.

Dear, please know that later, if you ever forgive me and want to love me again, you definitely can.

My heart is in your hands,
- Girl.

Rainbows

Paint these gray skies pink,
I would never think,
That this is what would become.

We're falling into blue,
Don't know what to do,
And you've got the right things to say.

Shades of green in this wave,
I love how you saved,
Me, from those mistakes.

A read and true kiss,
Never thought this,
Would come across our minds.

Shades of blue in your eyes,
I now realize,
The potential of a crush,

And what a rush.

My dear,
It's rainbows, let's go,
And leave them all behind.