Hope

After having the most brutally terrible day in a very long time,
I would like to take some time out to
Give a big thanks to Trey and Lucas for buying me
My very own Build-A-Bear bear,
Named Lawrence Xavier,
This March Break in Niagra Falls.
Additionally,
I would like to warmly thank Michael for
Giving me the softest teddy bear ever
For Valentine's Day.
I sleep with both of them every night.
They're both excellent cuddlers.
These two stuffed toys have saved me.

Missing

Patience is a virtue
But revenge is a necessity.

You begged her to stay,
She said okay.

Unexpected outcome,
Brain turning numb,
You hit her just for fun.

Making threats
To ring her neck
And make her forget.

Falls to the floor,
Hit her some more,
Two souls that tore.

The strongest love
Escaped within a shove.

Her life became
A secreted shame.
She’ll take the blame,
He’ll go unnamed.

Heart Factory

My body slowly stiffened
As I lay in my bed,
From my heart to the mattress,
My thoughts slowly bled.

I’m off to the Heart Factory
To get rid of this illness.
I’ll give my soul some peace
In its search for stillness.

Searching for refuge,
Burying the pain.
Dismissing emotion
But the pictures remain.

I’m off to the Heart Factory
In hopes of finding a cure.
Banishing the black to
Find a red more pure.

I’m completely destroyed
Aside from the jagged seams.
Can’t you hear the screams
Fucking up my hopeful dreams?

I’m off to the Heart Factory
And I never want to go back.
So I wrote and asked him to
Not make this new heart crack.

(Thankyou Patrick and Sierra for your loving help and support.)

Imaginary

I felt like if
I joined my wrists together and
Opened my palms,
I could create an entire new world.
I painted the sky with my fingers,
The sun went down with my eyes,
And it was all mine.
For the first time in awhile,
I felt happy all on my own.
I think life is finally coming together.

Is it weird that I feel more sane
Now that I’ve created a world with my hands?

Hidden Strength

It was the day that the rain stopped falling
That I remembered how to stand up.
Without the clouds pushing me down,
Putting weight on my shoulders,
Clouding my eyes with water,
My feet begun to work again.
I could walk again.
So I left.
I walked right out of your house,
And my feet stumbled forward.
They pushed me until
It was too late to turn around.
My strength has been found.

:)

I hate being used.

So I lied.
For the first time
In a long time.
And it felt good.

Heartless

And I swear that
The blood in your left arm
Runs a little bit cooler
Than the blood in your right arm.

Thoughts That Convulse

On your way to grab my heart,
Your hands tangled through my lungs.
When you screamed in my face and
Ripped my heart from my chest,
My lungs got bruised in the process
And I’m stuck on the floor.
I’m sure it won’t be long
Until I remember how to breathe again.
But in the meantime,
I’ll be reaching for your face
Through the black
And screaming and begging
For you to come back.

When You're Famous

The crowds will scream your name
And they'll know your lyrics
Better than you.

I'll get lost in the crowd
And become just another girl but
I'll remember.

You'll drive around in limos
And get blinded by
The flashing camera's.

I'll spin around in circles
And get blinded by the sun as
I try to find your face in the sky.

They'll praise you like a God
And you'll be living high
And forget.

I'll write you letters
And they'll remain unanswered so
I'll try to forget.

I'll never forget.

It's Rather Simple

Technically,
He stole my heart,
And therefore it will remain his.

Isolated

I put a love note on your plate,
You stuck gum under my chair.
I put your name in my heart,
You used a knife to scratch it out.
I put my world in your pocket,
You put your sweater in the washer.
I gave you my warm hand,
You gave me your cold shoulder.
I gave you my ear,
You forgot to share yours.
I gave you my love,
You gave me ignorance.
I gave you my trust,
You turned me a ghost.
And this lack of involvement
In your life is what hurts the most.

Deux

Je m’appelle « numero trois cent »,
Je m’appelle « le soldat de l’année »,
Je m’appelle Pierre.

Je m’appelle « la fille à cibler »,
Je m’appelle « la juive coupable »,
Je m’appelle Nancy.

J’ai dix-huit ans,
J’ai une croix gammé sur mon bras,
Et j’ai peur.

J’ai quinze ans,
J’ai une étoile de David sur mon bras,
Et j’ai peur.

C’est une guerre de la paix,
C’est une guerre de l’espoir,
C’est une guerre trés juste.

C’est une guerre de la haine,
C’est une guerre du désespoir,
C’est une guerre trés raciale.

Je suis jeune,
Je suis innocent,
Mais je suis prêt.

Je suis jeune,
Je suis innocente,
Et je suis dans un grenier.

Je me cache dans les rues,
Et je tue sans la tristesse.

Je me cache sur le dernièr de ce porte,
Et je tue ma maman avec ma tristesse.

Je suis un survivant
Des années des Juifs.

Je suis une dètenue
Des années des règlements de Hitler.

Je prie :
« Laissez pour Hitler à vivre pour toujour. »

Je prie :
« Laissez ma famille à vivre jusqu’ à demain. »